Merry Christmas 2008!

Finn is on the left - holding a homemade bow and arrow he won at the Steiner Christmas market - and Joe is on the right. Wishing anyone who reads this a great Christmas and a very happy 2009 xxx

I might have known when I distractedly handed Finn the shampoo while doing my make-up that a speriment was afoot. A speriment is similar to an experiment in that it involves mixing different substances. However, unlike an experiment, a speriment serves no scientific purpose, other than to test the nerves of whichever hapless adult happens to be in the vicinity. We have guests coming later, who will be intrigued by the large jar of blueish green liquid taking pride of place on the dining table, and who - if they're lucky - may be offered a taste of the ghoulish concoction (comprising, among other ingredients, the aforementioned shampoo, English mustard, curry powder, chocolate spread, cooking oil, blue colouring and rice vinegar). Like many speriments, this one will lie there, becoming ever more putrid, until Muggins (as I refer to myself when called upon to tidy up any Pea-related mess) pours it down the sink with a peg on her nose.

He's on to a Winner!

I was flicking through one of my favourite reads the other day - the Somerfield magazine (free, and full of great recipes, mums!) - when I came upon a photo of the veteran film director Michael Winner esq, who had an "unusual" recipe for scrambled eggs, which involved mixing eggs and milk then cooking the mixture in a frying pan. Anyway, a voice over my shoulder piped up - for it was the voice of a small boy called Joe - "It's Grandad!" I must say I had never noticed the similarity before, and now I feel quite sick when I think about it.

Merry Christmas 2007

Not a great photo, I'm afraid. Joe's bottom lip came out shortly after the photo session started and refused to go back in, so we didn't have many photos to choose from.

Joe is on the right, Finn is on the left, and that shadowy figure in the centre is their long-suffering mother.

Happy Xmas everyone! xxx

Tooth hurty

Two little stories about the Peas for their tiny fan club.

The Peas have started karate classes, and apparently last week's class ended with a session in which they all donned helmets and got to hit each other over the head with large bits of sponge*. Sounds like a five-year-old boy's dream activity, even if they would have preferred it to have been real Samurai swords.

Then, yesterday, I experienced the Bad Mummy feeling when I had to take Finn for an emergency tooth extraction. I sat there, tense and sweating, while he bravely endured three injections and...well, I won't go into the details, but we all know what's involved. Horrible. And almost entirely my fault for often allowing the boys to fall asleep without brushing their teeth. Anyway, he was promised a treat afterwards, so we went to the Co-op and he chose a vampire cape (this being close to Halloween)....quite ironic when I think about it. Then he got to come into the Parliament for lunch and miss school. He held court at our table in the canteen, then drew a picture of one of my colleagues while I went to a meeting, and a jolly good time was had by all. Remarkably, Joe took it all well too, and didn't exhibit his customary whiny behaviour. And the dentist assures me that Finn's adult tooth will be fine.

*I don't think any cakes were harmed in the process.

Until 2020

Odessa file

Remind me never to go anywhere hot in the summer ever again. Have just returned from Bulgaria, where the Peas and I travelled in a hired banger to the Black Sea resort of Varna. Having become spectacularly lost north of Veliko Turnovo - or Vehicle Turnover as Marcus calls it - due to inability to read road signs in Cyrillic, we eventually reached Varna, only to become even more lost, this time with added sweat and swearing. Oh How I Praise Ye, St Breezy of Air Conditioning and St Wine Miniature of Mini Bar! The Hotel Odessos, in downtown Varna and close to the beach, had both, and, with the addition of St Jetix of Kids Channels, the three of us survived four nights and an horrendous tummy bug that had me lying on the bed unable to move except to be sick. Most memorable moment of holiday? Peas clamouring at door of bathroom wherein I was heaving my guts out into the sink: "Can we see? Can we see?"

The Peas showed little interest in the sparkling, remarkably unpolluted Black Sea, preferring us to trek to the funfair in the city's Sea Garden, where they showed particular enthusiasm for anything that I had to pay for with cash rather than the prepaid card. After they'd discovered the shooting range, our hotel room quickly filled up with packs of cards, plastic guns, marbles and jigsaws-invaluable for the journey home.

So, we survived, and made it home to tell the tale. Next time though - if there is a next time - I'll eat the local yogurt.